CUZ

Cousin's got work up at the Show and Tell Gallery


Jesse Harris

THIS MIME IS A NOTHING MORE THAN A PEICE OF SHIT!

So here's the story behind this guy....

A few months back, I was at a bar and this weird looking guy walks in. He was wearing some leather shirt that had the whole front chest area exposed--with the exception of a bit on lace. He also had a police cap on and a Clockwork Orange type of stick-on eyelash. Later in the night I see this jockish kinda guy yelling at him, calling him a "fag" and whatnot. I thought to myself, "man that's a little harsh, he looks like an asshole but that's no reason to treat him that way".

So some time passes and 751 is a shitty bar so I was ready to head home. While waiting at the bus stop with my buddies Calum and Taya, I notice that this same fellow is waiting for the bus too. While patiently waiting for the unreliable blue night bus, we hear some "gino beats" blaring out of a passing car....it is at this moment, that I realize why he was being yelled at a the bar--because he's a fucking idiot. He turns to us and some uninterested girls and says, "man these black guys and their hip hop [which clearly was not the case], they're taking all of our white women." Everyone stays silent, though I think I do remember correcting him on the hip hop vs. gino beats thing, and he continued say idiotic things to people who obviously had no interest in what he was saying. We even laughed in his face after he said "people always try to fight me because of how I dress, but they don't understand, I just really like rock and roll."
So a few months pass, and we go to a bar after some very heavy pre-drinking. The brothers Calum and Al Murray-Lawson are in full auto-pilot mode at this point; and there he is, the douche from the bus stop. I point out to Calum and Taya that he's at the bar (dressed like an idiot again). Right away, due to his intoxicated state, Calum starts talking shit to him. A fight begins to break out, but I hear "Hey that's my fucking brother"--Al steps in. The Murray-Lawson's are a tight force I tell you. Before much happens the fight gets broken up and the brothers get kicked out of the bar. A minute later, they are let back in, and instead they throw the douche out instead. The guy was just standing at the bar talking to some girls, who probably wanted to leave at the first opportunity, and the next thing he knows someone starts a fight with him and he gets kicked out. I would feel sorry for him if I didn't know the kind of person he is. They won the battle, but did they win war?

YES! they did win the war. The day is May 22nd, 2010. I'm skating with a crew down by the loading area for the Toronto Island Ferry. And I see him on a bench with make-up on his face. I think nothing of it because he's always looked dumb, but then he gets on a milk-crate and starts his mime-routine. He loses....in life all together. Not only is he a mime, but a really really bad mime....even kids tell him he sucks. While we skate, he rudely hassles us about skating too close to his area, because we're "stealing his thunder". He even has the nerve to try and call us losers and tells us to....get this..."get a job!" Pathetic....just pathetic. Eventually he uses his brain and moves his milk crate/stage over. If anyone sees him when going to the Islands, I sincerely encourage you to spit in his face.





VIDEO LINK
I'll save the footage of his routine, but here's Tort giving him some advice

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